Monday, November 24, 2008
PreOp Jitters & A Testimony Builder
Well, tomorrow is the day that I have been dreading for weeks now. But I know it must be done. For anyone who isn't aware, I had an ear operation September 2007 and this a follow up surgery to make sure none of the tumor has grown back. For anyone who knows me, I haven't ever been able to hear out of my left ear very well at all and had a constant infection in it. Well in the Summer of 2007 I had been seeing an Ears, Nose, and Throat specialist and he decided that I needed a CT Scan to see what the problem might be. That is how the tumor was found. Because of the severity of it he recommended me to "super" specialist who deals with diseases of the ear, skull base and facial nerve. He is a wonderful doctor. So last September he went in and found that is was way worse then he had anticipated and had gotten into my brain tissue. All my inner ear bones were destroyed from the infection. So because of that I had severe vertigo for a week. I was so sick I couldn't eat or drink for a week. I lost 10 pounds. It has to be one of the hardest things I've been through. But I survived, and that is why I am dreading it so much. This time I have a 3 months old baby who is nursing, so my main concern is loosing my milk if I am unable to eat or drink. Plus I feel really bad for him not understanding where is mommy went. But yesterday, I received a priesthood blessing, and am feeling at peace about it all. I am so thankful for the power of the priesthood and the gift of the Holy Ghost. It is a true gift. There were so many promises given to me in that blessing if I had the faith. I really started to ponder that. It was contingent upon my faith. I know Heavenly Father can do anything he wants, so that wasn't the problem. But sometimes I fail to realize that I am a daughter of our Heavenly Father and he loves me no matter what and I am worthy to receive these promised blessings. So I realized the faith I was lacking was in myself. I am grateful Heavenly Father was able to teach me that. So I guess there is always good that comes from Hard Things. I love Sister Dalton's message in General Conference this past October. "In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things" This has been a testimony builder for me. How grateful I am for Gospel of Jesus Christ. I can't imagine going through this life without it.